I’m talking crap- literally

When I came up to bed last night I found a small interloper in my bed- the two year old had infiltrated my side of the bed and was sound asleep. Rather than attempt to shift him back to his room and bed, I took the cowards way out and decanted myself and my stuff to his room for a night of peace and quiet. Perhaps this lead to the rather strange dream I had about going to the toilet.

 I was staying in some big shiny complex with a mixture of people of all ages but I needed to go for a poo and was too far from the room we were staying in to make it back. I tried the first set of communal toilets but they were messy and full of people but I spotted a door at the back which I went through to find a spotless toilet in a big airy white room. Just as I settled down and let go, I noticed to my horror that one window was entirely glass and there was a continual stream of people heading passed the toilet. It didn’t seem like they could see me but I was terrified about wiping my bottom, which was beginning to itch, in case I was seen.

That’s a completely crap dream on so many levels. Yes, I am a creature of habit and like to use familiar toilets, and no I didn’t wake up having shat myself. I have no idea at all what may have triggered this. I’ve wiped the kids backsides a lot this past weekend and I suppose it may have been my subconscious displaying a degree of jealousy at the huge logs they seem capable of producing against the horrific slop that oozes out of my backside. Who knows? Either way it was a troubling and disturbing dream that left me feeling out of sorts when I woke up.

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  • That’s very spooky as I had a very similar dream last night. For some reason I was living in a scummy flat and the toilet was in a room with a large picture window. Almost the whole wall was glass. I didn’t really notice the window until it was time for paper – and so I sat there immobile unable to bring myself to do what needed to be done.

  • Alex

    No shit? That is a bit spooky. I’m sure the dreams MEAN something. Perhaps this is the build up to some sort of translocation to an alien world fantasy epic?

  • Well that would be quite exciting. I’m all for an adventure in an alien world – as long as they have a blind in the shitter.