I entered a blog competition recently. The prize was a copy of World War Z, the zombie survival guide. All you had to do to enter was detail your zombie survival plan which I duly did.
But my entry was fraudulent. I didn’t make up my entry for the competition. All I did was write down the plan I’ve devised over the last few years to survive either a zombie apocalypse or any other major disaster. Perhaps I think too much (or too little) or don’t spend enough time in the real world but things like wilderness survival need to be considered on the off chance we’d need to act on them.
Anyway, my entry is repeated below for your delectation:
It’s funny really. In any company I put forth the strong opinion that any MAN worth his salt should have a post apocalyptic survival plan in place that at a pinch would also serve as a Zombie survival plan. I get odd looks, I get sniggered at. In fact the only person who I’ve come across who has one is our friend Martin.
To me it makes sense to have one you see.
We have a water butt in the garden that will provide water for the jerry cans, and a selection of spades etc for immediate defence. My plan involves a dash for the nearby Toyota show room in our existing car. We’ll grab (ideally) a Hilux or a Land Cruiser, pack it full of our kids and kit raided from the local outdoor wear shop (I’ll already have packed my camping stove and other handy gear).
Then we’ll head down to Dorset/Devon/Cornwall. Cornwall ideally as the population density and therefore number of zombies is likely to be lower but the weather wont be as brutal as Wales (and who wants to be attacked by a Welsh zombie?!). It’s important to live by the sea as short of butchering livestock (which will be impractical whilst watching for zombies), seafood will be the best and most easily attainable source of protein once the tinned supplies run out. I have seen Zombie Flesh Eaters, so I don know that even sharks can’t hold off a determined zombie but its easier than chasing sheep round a field.
The ideal end point would be a remote stone farm house in the arse end of nowhere. For the short term, the ground floor windows would be planked over but mid to long term I’d look to put steel shutters up over all the ground floor entrances- hopefully the nearest large town will have a builders merchants we could loot for this sort of thing. Mid term, a 6ft mesh fence would be built around the farm and immediately adjacent land too, so that the kids have a safe outdoor haven.
Being a rural community, I’d anticipate we’d be able to scavenge fire arms from the actual farm, if not, we’d journey to the nearest army base and see about getting some more hard core weapons. I’d certainly be looking for riot armour as a bare minimum for all four of us, probably from a police station en route.
The guttering would be diverted into a series of waterbutts in the basement to provide a constant source of fresh water in case we were besieged by the walking dead. This would also contain as much tinned food as we could get and I’d set the children to start work on an escape tunnel pretty much as soon as we got in, shoring it up as they dug with timber scavenged from the barns.
Over time we would have issues relying on the diesel generator that would be present in such an isolated environment. Not to worry though, as a network of solar cells would eventually be erected in the adjacent field. The complex irrigation system would be longer in the development but hopefully we’d be self sufficient in our farmstead in only a few years.